Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
