Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
