yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
