Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize