Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
