we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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