forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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