i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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