I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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