let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
