If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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