just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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