While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
