How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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