I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
