i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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