Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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