Only a mothe r could love this liver
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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