Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize