On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there's paper in my vomit.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
