i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
