Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
