Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
