Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
