You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
