? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
