If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
