My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There's always time for handjobs
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize