it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize