I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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