If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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