Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
