Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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