sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
