You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
