I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
