its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
