you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
