The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
