Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
