Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
