Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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