His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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