worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
