There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
