She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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