just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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