Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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