could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
