its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
