hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
