masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
