I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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