I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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