When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
