There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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