I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
