Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
