I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
