What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
