Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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