OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
