God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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