He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
