Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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