Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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