your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
