Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize