You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize