i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
