Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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