I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
A+ Viking dick
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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