I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize