worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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